Drastic Changes

Life can suck.  It is going and then suddenly it changes.  Although I can't say I liked it before it drastically changed.  I had a husband who drank and sat before facebook and I had my kids who ran around being kids.  I was depressed.  Then secrets came out and the husband is gone my eldest is getting therapy and so are all of us.  Life can change suddenly.
If you find yourself in a drastic change, look at it as an opportunity.  I am learning how much of a domestic violence relationship I was in.  Maybe not physically, for me, but emotionally.  It wasn't good not for me, not for my kids, and it certainly wasn't good for my two oldest kids the biggest victims in all this,
Domestic violence is all about power and control, this is what I am learning.  I'm so sick of control that even my faith is being tested.  Maybe not the fact of my belief in God nor His blood covering my sins, but where I stand with him.  This is a journey, I warn you now things I write will not allways be the Christian mindset.  I am not walking the biblical walk after Christ.  I'm at a point where I am tired of rules, tired of confinement where even God's values feel's like work.  Logically I know none of that is true, but my spirit and heart are so damaged and wounded that I am fighting against what I've been brought up to know is right.
Here I am a mother of five, wanting to discover who I am again, I spent a marrige of fifteen years being slowly molded where my desires where ignored and I was quiet but at times not.  I am going to take this journey to discover myself, share things I learn and I pray if anyone out there suffers from any form of abuse get help!  It's not your fault.  If you don't it contiues the cycle.
My husband wasn't who he was at then end when I met him, wounds if not teated can turn you into a monster.  Therapy and aknowlegement of what happened helps.  Recovery is a life time journey, but it can happen.
Anyways on that note do something that makes you feel good too, read a book, drink coffe (those are mine) eat cake.  Yes just like Marie Antonette, Let them eat cake.  Take the steps on your journey as you learn about mine.
God is with you.