Who to Cry to?

I've been under a lot of stress lately.  I guess it's expected when you go from a life planned of graduating with a degree getting a job and having a family, to finding out the man you married is a monster, your mother passes and you're suddenly a single mother.
I have ways to cope.  We've been going to therapy and I read.  I haven't found friends though, good friends I can escape with lately.  If mom was alive I'd call her and poor out everything.  She'd know what it is like to be a single mom.  She'd know what it's like being a woman and I could tell her things without fear of judgement.
I guess the stress is getting to me cause I had a dream where the theme is who do I cry out to now?  I kept crying for mom, but knowing mom isn't there anymore.  I should cry out to God.  I should be a peace leaning on Him, but I haven't been, crying out to Him.
I have this thing where I feel He'll expect change and I'm afraid to make changes when I don't even know what I want in life.
I'm afraid I'll mess up my kids, afraid I don't deserve them cause I didn't get what was occuring earlier.  I'm afraid I won't have a good job soon to support them.  Basically normal fears when you are caring for someone.
I'm tired but I know eventually it will be ok, why else would God give me kids, why else would I care.  There has to be a reason and soon I'll have faith that crying out to God and resting in Him will make everything ok and my fears will be for nothing.  I hope so.